Offered by John Keane
Affection Teacher Exercise:
Those of you who are familiar with Focusing will have heard of the Focusing Attitude. It is the inner environment we create to safely welcome our important feelings, emotions, and physical sensations.
BioSpirituality offers a subtly different approach we call our Affection Teacher. Our Affection Teacher is a way of being present to our inner experience by recalling times in our life where we felt safe, accepted, and loved. Allowing that experience to teach us or guide us in how to be physically present to our inner experience.
The following exercise is one of my favourite ways of exploring our innate capacity for gentle presence. It can help develop your own Focusing Attitude or Affection Teacher. It is something I have used over the years and may have its foundation in other Focusing exercises. Therefore, I do not take any credit for creating something new.
Affection in Nature:
Begin by allowing your mind to quieten a little by bringing your attention to your breath or your physical body – shifting your attention away from the usual issues you normally think about. Pause…
After a little time, allow your attention to drop down inside your body – that place between your throat and your abdomen – that place where the language of your body is felt most deeply.
Perhaps you can spend some time noticing what it feels like to come home to yourself in this way – allowing distractions from your mind to ease away, just noticing the body feel of this kind of internal presence. Pause…
Now I invite you to imagine that you are taking a walk in the forest.
The usual sounds of the forest are interrupted by an unusual noise. Your pace slows and you begin to scan your surroundings – you realise that the noise is one of distress. Then you see a movement up ahead. As you draw closer, you see a baby deer, it is wounded, struggling and in pain.
You pause as you do not want to startle this vulnerable creature by rushing towards it. The baby deer sees you and retreats a little – it is not sure if it can trust you.
Perhaps you can notice what feels right inside as you see this vulnerable creature in the distance. Do you remain still, or do you rush towards it? What can you do to make sure the baby deer does not feel more scared – what can you do to allow the baby deer to feel that it can trust you a little bit?
Notice how the pace and timing of your movements impacts upon the relationship between you and the baby deer. Allow yourself to notice the subtle dance of becoming aware of what makes the baby deer feel safe and what scares it – this interaction guides you more than any intention to control.
When the time is right – when the baby deer feels safe enough to allow you to be close to it. Notice how you can hold it in a way that allows it to feel even safer. Nothing you can say will matter in this interaction. Rather, it is the tone of your voice, the gentleness of your touch that will enable the baby deer to feel safe and not alone anymore.
This relationship of trust and safety can grow and mature from this place. You are now in a place where you can care for this wounded baby deer.
Now, can you imagine being with your own important feelings in this way. Not needing to rush to control – but willing to be gently present until the trust that is needed has emerged in its own time.
