Ann Weiser Cornell’s most recent book, “21 Days to Better Boundaries” is based on her on-demand video course of the same name. It is one a person could read from cover to cover in a few hours*. However, she has designed the book, like the video course, as a daily programme over a 21-day duration. Each short chapter corresponds to a day and in each there are some background concepts, information or/and examples along with an exercise or process to engage in. Her trademark approach is evident from the get-go: the language of relating; “something in me …”; saying “Hello” to that and so on. She employs an expansive understanding of the word ‘boundary’: “It might be the line between your needs and another person’s needs, your time and another person’s time, your feelings and another person’s feelings. It could also be within yourself, between your work life and your life-life.”

Self-in-presence is an essential part of Weiser-Cornell’s approach and is seen as an underlying stance of the reader towards their inner experiences, in all of the exercises. From the subtitle of the book; “A guide to setting boundaries with kindness and compassion” it is clear that she is engaged in an inner relationship approach. She draws on other approaches when necessary e.g. employing Non Violent Communication’s understanding of needs. She explores the subtleties of indirect communication particularly in families, with friends and colleagues among others and examines the benefits of maintaining healthy boundaries. The following few chapter headings will give a flavour of situations and contexts she explores:

• Setting boundaries without anger, blaming, excuses, or apologies
• Saying no (and yes) without feeling guilty or selfish
• When wanting people to like you stops you from setting boundaries
• When people are intrusive
• Setting boundaries with yourself
• How healthy boundaries help us connect well with others
• Clear communicating that takes the other into account
  
  

Personally, I find self-help books like these difficult to utilise fully. However, Weiser Cornell very helpfully offers support for people like me by providing audio recordings of the exercises in the book on her website (for an extra $29). Alternatively, I imagine that this book could very easily be worked through in a Focusing partnership or a small group; like a book club with added Focusing time.

Ann Weiser Cornell. 21 Days to Better Boundaries. Calluna Press, 2022. Available from Focusing Resources or online bookshops for about €15.

* Which I did for the purpose of writing this review!

It is my great pleasure to introduce our Winter Newsletter.  Nothing happens without the commitment and generosity of our members and we start by thanking Elaine Goggin and the Newsletter team for all the work they have done to bring this publication to your inbox. 

As we come to the end of another year, The Irish Focusing Network has much to celebrate.

Online Focusing has continued – albeit with smaller numbers attending.  We are extremely grateful to our Zoom hosts, whose commitment continues to make these possible.  Looking to the future, we think it might be time to review the online provision.  If you haven’t already filled out the survey to help us with that planning, you’ll find it here: https://forms.gle/usMaRhGdSWzo6EwC8

Marie McGuigan’s online sessions on Focusing with Poetry continue to bring joy and inspiration, as do the videos which are a popular part of the website.  Check out the latest below.  If you haven’t already attended the online sessions, let us know if you’d like to do so in the future – it’s a real treat.  You can register for future sessions at: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

September saw what, we hope, will be the first of many in-person gatherings of the Network at the Margaret Aylward Centre in Glasnevin. Caroline Moore has done a lovely reflection on the day, which you can read in this issue or by clicking here.

We were pleased that the International Focusing Institute chose Dublin as one of the in-person locations for this year’s Focusing Advanced and Certification Weeklong in October.  It was particularly nice that this took place in the Dominican Retreat Centre, which was the original home of Focusing in Ireland.  This was the first occasion on which the Weeklong was run as a hybrid event. You can get a flavour of how that went from Therese Ryan’s contribution. You can read her reflection by clicking here.

Some of our members have successfully completed work towards accreditation as Focusing professionals, trainers or co-ordinators.  We are delighted to be able to celebrate their achievements here too.

Looking ahead to the coming year, we hope that the Network will continue to grow and to support our members in their Focusing practice.  As you start to fill up your diary for the coming year, please include some of the following:

Our AGM will take place on 16th January 2023 at 7.30pm. To ensure that everyone can participate, we will hold this online. We have some decisions to make about the way forward and we encourage everyone to come along and help us to plan for the future.

Membership renewal will open at the end of January.  We are grateful to all our members for their financial contribution to the Network – you make it all possible.  The online system has made joining and renewing your membership much easier – a big thank you to everyone who keeps that show on the road.

We hope to welcome many of you to our next in-person gathering on 4^th March 2023.  We are grateful to both Marie McGuigan and Therese Ryan for agreeing to lead workshops on the day.  Your reflection on the last event has helped us in planning and we are grateful to all who gave us such helpful feedback.

Several of our Focusing Trainers are offering courses over the coming months and we wish them all well in their work to promote Focusing in Ireland.  You’ll find details of the courses we know about in the Newsletter.  If you’re planning courses or events in the future, remember that we are happy to promote courses run by our members who are accredited trainers.

Our next Newsletter will drop into your inbox sometime in late Spring.  Your contributions are what brings this publication to life, and all are welcome.  Maybe there’s something you’ve read that you think others might enjoy – could you write a short review and share that with us all?  Is there an area of Focusing you would like to explore with others?  We’ll put the invitation out there for you – let us know.  Is there something you would like to see added to the Newsletter – we welcome all of your suggestions.  Email us at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..

Finally, we wish all our members a happy and peaceful Christmas and all that is good for the coming year.  Beannachtaí an tséasúir oraibh go léir. (For our members abroad – “The blessings of the season on you all”)

Margaret Quinn

Advanced and Certification Weeklong Reflection - Dublin 2022

Therese Ryan

In October 2022 the International Focusing Institute’s Weeklong took place in the Dominican Retreat Centre in Tallaght, Dublin. It was the first time for this event to be held in Ireland. And what a weeklong it was. The theme was Instances of Transformation. We came together from all corners of Ireland as well as the United Kingdom, Holland, Romania, United States and Israel.  

First there was the delight of meeting some Focusing friends in the flesh for the first time, having got to know each other online during the pandemic. And the joy also of making new friends, hearing new ways of Focusing, the ways people are using it in their lives. And the ease and openness that comes in the company of people who know Focusing.

Each day started with a session in our home group. This was a lovely gentle space where we shared and reflected on what was alive for us. We drew and played and danced together. And everything that arrived was held lovingly by the group.

When I realised we were going to be online each afternoon, I was initially disappointed. I wanted to make the most of our in person gathering, but I was pleasantly surprised. The afternoon plenary sessions were wonderful. We gathered with a group attending solely online as well as the other in person group in Connecticut. In breakout rooms we focused with attendees in other locations. These sessions brought an exciting sense of togetherness with the wider weeklong community. And each workshop brought something new, exciting and powerful.

We tried out Cross Lingual Focusing online. I spoke in Irish, my partner spoke in Spanish. The Focusing became more about presence and less about words. We listened and reflected differently using unfamiliar words, and as the Focuser we used gestures to communicate our wishes.

The ABC of Focusing workshop with Dan Schachter blew my mind as we explored moving from our fixed logical way of thinking towards interacting with life in an “about to be changed” way.  In the Thinking at the Edge workshop with Beatrice Blake we invited instances from our felt sense of a situation and allowed new meaning to come alive and flourish. Then on the one day the sun shone, our very own Tom Larkin guided us in a beautiful Focusing in nature workshop in the grounds of the retreat centre. We even managed to Focus in break out rooms on our phones while we were outside. This session finished for me with a profound meeting with a tree.

Each evening we gathered again for informal workshops on Focusing with poetry, the process of Non Violent Communication and the Enneagram. There was lots of laughter and fun, and singsongs accompanied by Caroline on the ukulele. And we had plenty of opportunities to Focus with each other in cosy nooks throughout the building. There was time between sessions for a walk in the beautiful walled garden with its massive 700 year old walnut tree or a meditative journey in the grassy labyrinth. And some of us even came together in the mornings before breakfast for yoga and dancing.

Something carried forward in our community during the weeklong — from workshops to meals to home groups and informal gatherings. There was a sense of each of us moving forward individually and collectively, agents of transformation, continually changing each other and being changed. And there was such richness in meeting different perspectives and backgrounds and ways of bringing Focusing alive.

On the last day we gathered for a special closing ceremony in a hall carefully strewn with Autumn offerings from the gardens. Five people were presented with certificates. We had an opportunity to walk a path reflecting the development of Focusing itself as well as our own Focusing journey. I left the Weeklong renewed and replenished,  filled with gratitude for Focusing and the wonderful people it has brought into my life. Roll on next year!

The Irish Participants in Dublin

Focusing with Nature facilitated by Tom Larkin

Tom Larkin calling us all back with his special whistle!

Elaine Goggin and Fiona O'Meara from the Irish Focusing Network received their certificate during the closing cermony.